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"The Church of North India as a United and Uniting together is committed to announce the Good News of the reign of God inaugurated through death and resurrection of Jesus Christ in proclamation and to demonstrate in actions to restore the integrity of God's creation through continuous... Read more

silver or grey wears for cocktail party

I want to talk to you guys about something important: HOW WE SEE OURSELVES.

This wasn't what this post was originally going to be about. It was going to be about me not fitting in my pants because I have not been doing cardio and I have been eating french fries and chocolate ice cream.

I worked out in the gym with more women than normal this morning and my usual spot was taken. So I had to workout in front of the huge wall of mirrors.

...

I caught myself watching my tummy roll over my pants as I was doing squats and lunges. I was really hard on myself and probably said some really unkind words in my head. And because I'm standing in front of a huge wall length mirror, I was sure that others were doing it too. Especially since I'm a heath and fitness coach and I'm all over social media talking about my workouts. Right?

I intentionally went into the locker room to take the unfiltered pictures of how bloated, full of inflammation, and gross my body looked. Because here's the thing: I want to always be honest with myself and you guys about my struggles.

As I took the pictures, I didn't even look at them. I saw how I FELT in the mirror. I felt fat. I felt gross. I felt like I let myself down. Because here I was in the gym every day working my butt off. BUT I was skipping my cardio. I LOVE weight training and I was telling myself that because I was drenched in sweat every day after doing weights that it counted as cardio. Lies!!

So, when I sat down to look at the pictures, I felt silly. I didn't see the girl that I was just pulling apart and shaming in my head. I saw the girl that last year I would have killed to be. How have I come so far and still feel like I'm not good enough?

It's a hard process. When you have been in your head for so long believing that you're not good enough, it's hard to believe that you are good enough. I'm working on this. I've been doing a lot of self development this year and it's truly helped. But we all have those days where we slide down a little bit and forget how far we've come. We just need to find it inside of ourselves to believe that we are worthy and that we are enough. Because we are. silver or grey wears for cocktail party

So, here I was beating myself up over some bloat and a tummy roll.... while wearing XS pants and top. How ridiculous does that sound? Exactly. So, I got over myself and patted myself on the back for showing up to workout and for recognizing that I was just being too hard on myself. Loving yourself is a lifelong journey. It's hard some days, but just keep going and know that you are good enough.

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